As a marriage and family counselor, I’ve worked with couples that present to Marriage Counseling with a wide variety of issues disrupting their marital happiness. Every couple that comes to Marriage Counseling is different and faces a set a circumstances unique to them. I will say however, that there are a group of very common problems that couples who come to Marriage Counseling encounter that can cause stress and discord in the relationship. I feel it is important to recognize some of these common marital problems so that couples may understand that they are not alone in their struggle and that Marriage Counseling can help them address these issues.
These 10 common Marital Problems include:
- Issues of Money
- Issues of Sex
- Issues with Division of Responsibilities
- Issues of Children and Parenthood
- Issues with the Involvement and Influence of In-Laws and Other Extended Family
- Issues of Boredom
- Issues with Work Stress
- Leading Separate Lives
- Issues of Infidelity
- Problems with Communication
1. Issues of Money
One of the most common problems in marriage is the issue of money. Countless couples find difficulty in managing their finances. They fight about how to save it, how to spend it, who makes more, who makes less…you name it! Especially early on in a marriage or before a couple marries, talking about finances and sorting out a plan for how money will be managed is extremely important for the health of the relationship and could highly benefit from Marriage Counseling if these conversations are not going smoothly.
2. Issues of Sex
Another common problem is sex. Though frequency of sex is the most common issue within this topic, there are also a multitude of other issues sex can bring about. The sexual relationship between a couple changes and adapts over time and often needs a tune-up.
3. Issues with Division of Responsibilities
The division of responsibilities within a couple can be a significant source of contention, especially when communication and agreement about how responsibilities will be divided and shared has not taken place. Communication is a key component of this issue as without it, it can turn into a resentment-filled free-for-all! This doesn’t need to be this way and can be relatively easily worked out through Marriage Counseling.
4. Issues of Children and Parenthood
Children and parenthood bring a long list of potential problems to the table for couples. First and foremost, the desire for and decision to have children and when can bring about disagreement. What comes next could be difficulty with infertility, adjustment to parenthood and how it changes the relationship, differences in approach to childrearing, and how many children to have. These examples only scratch the surface and Marriage Counseling can make these conversations go smoother.
5. Issues with the Involvement and Influence of In-Laws and Other Extended Family
The involvement and influence of in-laws and other extended family can be another problem for couples. The over or under-involvement of in-laws or interference in the relationship can cause stress between a couple. Also difficult are extended family members with a dependency on the couple or inappropriate or unwanted behavior that affects the couple. This is a complex area involving a lot of people and feelings and Marriage Counseling can help a couple navigate through this in a more comfortable way.
6. Issues of Boredom
Boredom, though it seems harmless, can be a major problem for couples. If one or both members of the couple find themselves bored with the relationship and do nothing to change or remedy the situation, it can lead to a separation within the marriage that only gets worse over time and can lead to poor decisions that can be detrimental to the relationship.
7. Issues with Work Stress
Work stress can have a huge impact on the relationship if boundaries are not well-established between the couple to have a clear separation between work and marriage/family. Stress that comes home from work and impacts the marriage can create resentment, dissatisfaction, a breakdown in communication and more frequent arguments.
8. Leading Separate Lives
Marital relationships can suffer significantly when partners begin to lead separate lives. Though individual independence is a good thing, couples need to have shared interests, engage in joint activities, and spend quality time together in order to maintain a strong connection.
9. Issues of Infidelity
Infidelity is an issue that is not only common, but can also range in definition. Infidelity can present as directly as engaging in a sexual relationship outside of the marriage to an online emotional affair. Whatever the situation, infidelity of any kind can cause exceptional damage to a marriage and Marriage Counseling should be sought immediately to sort things out.
10. Problems with Communication
The final and most common marital issue on this list is problems in communication. It can present as the only issue in the marriage or it can be the underlying cause of every issue described above. However it may present in a marriage, solid communication is the basis of every good marriage and without it, the marital bond can start to unravel. It doesn’t need to be this way. With Marriage Counseling you can learn the skills to communicate better.
Why Marriage Counseling
Each of the above-mentioned common marital problems described, and many others, can be addressed and resolved in Marriage Counseling. Through Marriage Counseling a marriage counselor can help a couple work through their differences, enhance their existing strengths, and find true satisfaction and happiness in their relationship. If you and your partner have or are experiencing difficulty of any kind in your relationship, Marriage Counseling may be a step that can help you find the resolve you are seeking.